Several students were asked the following problem: Prove that all odd integers higher than 2 are prime. mathematician: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, and by induction, we have that all the odd integers are prime." Statistician: 100% of the sample 5, 13, 37, 41 and 53 is prime, so all odd numbers must be prime. Mechanical Statistician: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is an outlier, 11 is prime, 13 is prime, .... all odd numbers are prime. Measure nontheorist: there are exactly as many odd numbers as primes (Euclid, Cantor), and exactly one even prime (namely 2), so there must be exactly one odd nonprime (namely 1). Physicist: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is ... uh, 9 is an experimental error, 11 is prime, 13 is prime... Well, it seems that you're right." Wouldn't a modern physicist employ something like renormalization? 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is ... 9/3 is prime 11 is prime, 13 is prime, 15 is ... 15/3 is prime 17 is prime, 19 is prime, 21 is ... 21/3 is prime Quantum Physicist: All numbers are equally prime and non-prime until observed. Chemist: "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime.. that's enough." Chemist: 1 prime, 3 prime, 5 prime...hey, let's publish! Cosmologist: 3 is prime, yes it is true.... Engineer: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is ..., 9 is ..., well if you approximate, 9 is prime, 11 is prime, 13 is prime... Well, it does seem right." Engineer: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is not working, fetch toolbox. Engineer: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime, 11 is prime... [Continue until told to go home by others] Professor: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, and the rest are left as an exercise for the student. Computer scientist: I've just whipped up a program to REALLY go and prove it..." He goes over to his terminal and runs his program. Reading the output on the screen he says, "1 is prime, 1 is prime, 1 is prime, 1 is prime...." Computer scientist using Unix: 3's a prime, 5's a prime, 7's a prime, segmentation fault. core dumped. Computer Scientist: 1 is prime, 10 is prime, 11 is prime, 101 is prime... GNU program: % prime usage: prime [-nV] [--quiet] [--silent] [--version] [-e script] --catenate --concatenate | c --create | d --diff --compare | r --append | t --list | u --update | x -extract --get [ --atime-preserve ] [ -b, --block-size N ] [ -B, --read-full-blocks ] [ -C, --directory DIR ] [ --checkpoint ] [ -f, --file [HOSTNAME:]F ] [ --force- local ] [ -F, --info-script F --new-volume-script F ] [ -G, --incremental ] [ -g, --listed-incremental F ] [ -h, --dereference ] [ -i, --ignore-zeros ] [ --ignore-failed- read ] [ -k, --keep-old-files ] [ -K, --starting-file F ] [ -l, --one-file-system ] [ -L, --tape-length N ] [ -m, --modification-time ] [ -M, --multi-volume ] [ -N, --after-date DATE, --newer DATE ] [ -o, --old-archive, --portability ] [ -O, --to-stdout ] [ -p, --same- permissions, --preserve-permissions ] [ -P, --absolute- paths ] [ --preserve ] [ -R, --record-number ] [ [-f script-file] [--expression=script] [--file=script-file] [file...] prime: you must specify exactly one of the r, c, t, x, or d options For more information, type ``prime --help'' Computer Scientist: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 7 is prime, 7 is prime, 7 is prime... Bus error. Core dumped. The computer programmer method is: "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime, 9 is prime, 9 is prime, 9 is ..." Opps, let's try that again: "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is ... 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is ... 3 is ..." Um, right. Okay, how about this: "3 is not prime, 5 is not prime, 7 is not prime, 9 is not prime..." So much for the beta releases. Ship this: "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is a feature, 11 is prime..." and put on the cover "More prime numbers than anyone else in the industry!" Coming soon: "3 is a prime, 4 is a feature, 5 is a prime, 6 is a feature, 7 is a prime, 8 is not yet implemented, 9 is our backwards compatibilty module, ..." Programmer: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 will be fixed in the next release, ... C programmer: 03 is prime, 05 is prime, 07 is prime, 09 is really 011 which everyone knows is prime, ... BASIC programmer: What's a prime? COBOL programmer: What's an odd number? Windows programmer: 1 is prime. Wait. Mac programmer: Now why would anyone want to know about that? That's not user friendly. You don't worry about it, we'll take care of it for you. TRS-80 Computer Programmer: One is prime, Two is prime, Three is prime, Out of Memory. Computer Scientist with a Pentium: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 6.9999978 is prime... Computer Scientist: 3.0001 is prime 4.9999 is prime 7.0001 is prime ... General protection error... Software tech support operator: Well, we haven't had any reports of composite odd numbers... do you have the latest version of ZFC? Logician: Hypothesis: All odd numbers are prime Proof: 1) If a proof exists, then the hypothesis must be true 2) The proof exists; you're reading it now. From 1 and 2 follows that all odd numbers are prime Confused Undergraduate: Yes, it's true. Proof: Let p be any prime number larger than 2. Then p is not divisible by 2, so p is odd. QED Linguist: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 aaah. I can make 9 a prime. Linguist: are you lot going to shut up and buy me a beer or not? Computational linguist: 3 is an odd prime, 5 is an odd prime, 7 is an odd prime, 9 is a very odd prime, ... So we go on to the architect (Architecture is the only completely non-technical faculty in the technion): Architects are very friendly people who are always ready to help, so when asked to prove that all odd numbers are prime: "I'd love to help you, if you could just clarify something ... what exactly are odd numbers?" Philosopher : why don't we just call all the odd numbers prime and call all the prime numbers odd, that way all the odd numbers would be prime Philosopher: 3 is prime. Hum, thats an interesting statment, I'll get one of my research students to look into that. Economist: "Assume 9 is prime..." Economist: 2 is a prime, 4 is a prime. Economist: 3 is even, 4 is even, 6 is even... Economist: 4 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is not prime. Look the prime rate is dropping. English Major: 1 is prime, 2 is prime, 3 is prime, 4 is prime... Any fool could prove that the above is wrong... After all, no English major can count that high! ;-) P.S. And I should know...I've done spent time in the English army! English major: What's a prime number ? Politician: What's a number ? Philosophy major: What is ? Athletic scholarship: What !? Theologian: 3 is prime and that's good enough for me! Theologian: No after all before God all numbers even, odd and prime are created equal. The Psychiatrist: 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime but trying to supress it, 11 is prime...... Shrink: 3 is prime, 5 is prime etc... And how could one specify "prime" anyway? Psychologists: Do _they_ want to be? Sociologist: 3 is a number, 3 is prime, all numbers are prime. Sociologist: is it right to call numbers odd? Sociologist: 3 is a number, 3 is prime, all numbers are prime. Anthropologist: Prime or not, every number is unique. Take 9 for example... Multiculturalist: Pfui! There you go, classifying numbers into categories. Lawyer: 3 is prime, yet 5 could be anything, taking into account, but not limited to, the fact that 4 may or may not be prime, depending on the witnesses' testimonies and the written evidence furnished. Lawyer: According to Maths v Logic, 9 was judicially declared prime Lawyers: one is prime, three is prime, five is prime, seven is prime, although there appears to be prima facie evidence that nine is not prime, there exists substantial precedent to indicate that nine should be considered prime. The following brief presents the case for nine's primeness ... Accountant: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime, deducing 10% tax and 5% other obligations. Accountant: What would you like it to be? Politician: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is composite, 11 is prime -- we can ignore 9 because the primes have a majority. Corrupt Politician: For a sufficent donation, 9 can be reclassified Politician: Do you want them to be? Liberals: The fact that nine is not prime indicates a deprived cultural environment which can only be remedied by a federally funded cultural enrichment program. Manager: 3 yes, 5 yes, 7 YES, 9 Now let's take a positive attitude here Mid-level manager: 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is... Who can I delegate this to ? QA: 1 is not proven, 2 no and reported, 3 not proven, 4 no and reported, ... Salesman: 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, and with 9 you get five excellent primes for the price of three ! Rec.humor poster: one is prime, one is prime, one is prime, one is prime Mathematical Chess Player with whites: 1 'Pawn' is not prime, 2 'Pawns' is prime, 5 'Pawns' is prime, 7 'Pawns' is prime, 9 'Pawns' is ... I have not 9 white Pawns, please can you borrow me a black Pawns? Thanks ... hum: 8 white Pawns + 1 black Pawns ... sorry i can not answer to you problem, i have not sufficient homogeneous Pawns!? [by: velucchi@bigfoot.com (Mario Velucchi)] From: "Mike Varley" mike@varley9.freeserve.co.uk Windows Programmer: 3 is prime 5 is prime 7 is prime 9 has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down. Linux Programmer: 3 is prime 5 is prime 7 is prime 9 is fed up with a prime-dominated world, and has set up its own number system. Mac Programmer: 3 is prime 5 is prime 7 is prime 9 could do with being more user-friendly.